I’m coming back….
Dear my blog,
It’s been so long time I didn’t
visit you and ‘pour’ my gorgeous beyond imagination ideas on your page :’(
My half of joyfulness is missing
and doesn’t have the humorous feeling right now.
Hfff… oh my cutie blog…
I feel so gloomy nowadays, such
doing boring routine every second at workplace. Waking up in the dawn and
passing through the wild road and crazy traffic jam, wasting time on the
street, one and half hour even two hours or more just to reach my office,
having crazy burdensome under pressure job, having limitation to just having
lunch or doing prayer, getting extremely frightened and worried feeling once I back
home so late successfully make me crazy, if I could I would abandon this
breathless routine.
This doesn’t mean I regret every
second steps I took. Being here is a gift, this was my choice and I have to go
through it. But sometimes another feeling comes across in my mind; people will
die, won’t they?? People will leave this world to come back to the place where
they belong. Leaving in this world is only for short time, the problems in the
world are just the things such a piece of cakes. So, what am I looking for
being here? Money? !! how much money do I earn until I have to sacrifice my
time in praying and getting closer to Him? Innalillahi…
In my dream, I wish one day I can
work in the place where I can share good things to others in Islamic nuance. Feeding
the poor people, sharing knowledge to the unlucky children, teaching street children,
helping old people or just being a housewife and giving the best service to my
husband and children are my big hope.
But until now, I’m still waiting for the right one in the right time.
I’m not pretty, I’m not good at cooking, I’m not good at doing conversation
with a man, I’m not attractive, I just have a love, the love that I’ve never
shared to other ‘non-muhrim’ man and keep it since I knew how love feels. I strongly admire
how romantic Siti Fatimah ra and Ali bin Abi Thalib ra love strory is!! They
love each other without express it before marriage. Hfff… I realize that I
don’t resemble with Siti Fatimah ra, she is too perfect to compare with. All I
have to do now is trying to ‘memantaskan diri’ to prepare myself welcoming the
right one, keep fighting to work in the office where I’m working in, trying to
find another job, practicing cooking, keep donating, and praying.
Ya Allah... may You grant my wishes…
Amin.
Anyway, thank you my awesome blog
for listening to me and letting me to write my wish on here.
You’ll be my greatest
reminiscence in my future, reading this with my grandchildren and laughing
2gether in remembering my awkward story on this.
-Eliza lagi sedih mode on-
No comments:
Post a Comment